Commitments got you down?
I made a commitment to somebody to get something done today. I said I would deliver it by the end of the day.
I had my day planned out so that I would have time to get this work done and get it sent off.
However at 9 o’clock this morning I got a phone call and I ended up being on the phone call for 3 1/2 hours. It was an important phone call that I believed I needed to take and stick with to the end.
It was a good phone call and very productive.
But it meant that I was not working. So I got to the end of the day at dinnertime and I knew I still had two and half hours of work to go in order to meet this deadline.
It has been a struggle to stay on task and keep working. It’s now evening and I’m tired and I would really like to get my glass of Moscato and go chill in front of Nurse Jackie.
I have been reading some materials and going to some seminars that address the issue of keeping your word and maintaining integrity. So that has kept coming back to me this evening while I feel like quitting work but at the same time know that I said I would get something done by the end of today.
I want to hold to that.
It’s interesting to me how the subject of integrity and keeping your word has been a front brain thing for me more these days than it used to be.
I’ve always been a person who felt like I kept my word, but I realize that there are plenty of times where I slid sideways in that, when I didn’t really keep my word, or made excuses for not keeping it well.
I do find that it’s easier to keep my word when I make it to other people rather than to myself.
In other words, when I promise somebody that I am going to do something, then I generally do what I promised. If I don’t, I feel very badly and usually do something to try to make up for it. At the very least, I will apologize.
However, when it comes to keeping my word to myself, I’m not nearly as good at that.
For example, for the last two months I’ve been wanting to get to the gym. I know that I need the exercise.
Also for the last six months I have been telling myself that I’m going to eat better. I’m not eating quality food, and I’m not eating enough. I’ve lost 12 pounds in the last six months and I don’t want to be this skinny.
I have done abysmally at getting to the gym, and almost as abysmally at cooking decent food and eating decent food regularly.
I hate to promise something to somebody and not do it and go back on my word. I really despise that. And I will do a lot to avoid that sort of situation.
But I’m not so determined to keep my word to myself.
When I don’t keep my word to myself, though, it impacts me negatively. When I continue to not do something that I’ve told myself I need to do, it tends to make me feel like a failure and disempowered.
So that is the challenge to me–not only to keep integrity in my commitments with other people but also to keep integrity with myself.